He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
