it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
