Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
