u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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