I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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