I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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