I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
why do cheetos always look like penises
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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