Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Panties = found
Randomize
