Have you finally orgasmed yet?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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