Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
