so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
