Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
