Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I checked into jail on foursquare
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
