he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
