Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
