You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
