What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
