ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
