She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
