i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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