Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
