As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
