so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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