her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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