You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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