I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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