i barfeds in our rink
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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