how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
