i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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