I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
