he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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