Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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