She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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