i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't deserve a penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
