:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
