I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
