Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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