No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Alive.
So much puke
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
