would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
