i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
