eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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