Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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