Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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