just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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