I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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