I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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