i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
PANTIES FOUND
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
