hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
