3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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