i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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