What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
