I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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