he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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