so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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