my vag is so smooth its legendary
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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